me.heart.hard

i was like... he is.... and he is.... and he was... and he will....

those words are remains, in my mind... never to be thrown out to be talk to be told... and i was like,

"i'm not giving any space for them or even myself to interact"

what am i trying to tell here is that i never allow myself to befriend... i'll never trust MYSELF to make friends and live happily with them... as if just now when i'm on my way to go back to college, 

my classmate were sitting next to me... we are not talking or even look at each other.. and when the time he tried to talk to me like "kau budak kuliah aku ke" 

what i replied was just a head-shooking without looking at his face...or even turn my head to...

and when i was in his shoes sure i'll be more than upset... cause seriously it was like you are talking to an illusion...

i'd try my best to be more friendly.. but yet the wall that separate me and the other world are too high to be climb, to thick to be crumble, and to hard to be break even by myself, even i am the one who built that wall..

and i just about to lose... losing them...

@.@